The Year of Me

The Year of Me

Apologies as I have not posted in a while, life has been crazy and I have moved to this fancy new website! I don't usually do personal posts but I felt the urge to share recently. I feel like talking about the quality of life and how each individual has the choice of making the most out of life.

This post might lean more towards the cliché so if you aren't about that, now is your cue to exit. Now you're asking what can I, a 25 year-old woman, tell you about living and life? Truth is I can't tell you anything for sure, I'm still figuring it out for myself. But what I can tell you is that the last few years have been hard.

I have struggled with anxiety and insecurity but in this last year I have overcome so many obstacles and proven my strength, to myself and others. I have become healthier, both physically and emotionally and I'm back to my overly optimistic self. My favourite thing to say over the last year has been, "I'm just being Miley", from the Miley Cyrus song "See You Again" (I'm not even really a fan but the saying somehow suits how I've been living for the last year).

Looking back I realize for a period of time I wasn't myself. Letting people into your life is a risk, a risk we make almost every day. It's a risk that can change you for better or worse. For about two years after I graduated high school I felt like I needed a boyfriend, I craved that kind of affection. I became obsessed with finding someone to fill the void and I did something very unlike myself; I found someone and became so dependent on them that I forgot who I was.

After taking some time to put that behind me I started to find me again. The clock struck midnight and I have turned back into my confident, independent and wonderfully optimistic self and I could not be happier. So you want to know my trick? I have been single for about a year and a half now, it hasn't exactly been by choice but I think it has been for the best. Basically, I am writing this to tell you what I have learned in the past year and a bit of being with my true soul mate, me (and maybe my sister).

Turn your pain into productivity. 
Over the last year I have become more productive than I ever have been. I finally left a job I hadn't been enjoying for sometime and found one I absolutely love. Although short lived, I began a project called #FierceFemales that I dedicate a big part of my healing to. I had women from all over the world reading and wanting to participate. I'm hoping to bring it back, so if you are reading this email me! I have slowly been taking on more freelance clients, which is insanely exciting. Keeping busy and racking up my accomplishments has made me proud of myself.

Say "yes" more. 
I have done more in this last year than I have in really long time. If you asked me two years ago if I was going to pack up a tent and my sister to go to Folk Festival, just the two of us without any camp mates, I would have laughed in your face. This year I did just that. If you asked me 3 years ago to go to Super Spike I would have said it was lame and too immature for me; it wasn't and it's not. If you asked me 4 years ago about going to Las Vegas I would have said, "I really don't think that city is for me," NOT TRUE, it's for everyone! I also told my sister I would consider CountryFest next year... Don't tell her but I'm still leaning towards "no". Now these may seem like small things to say "yes" to but because of my dependency it made doing what I truly wanted hard. Do things for you not someone else.

Meet new people.
Strike up a conversation with the people sitting by you at the concert, say "yes" when someone asks if they can join your table at the pub. It's simple things like that, that give you the greatest experiences in life and maybe some great friends. Maybe you're friends for just one beer or maybe you're friends for life. Over the last year I have had to work on my charisma skills (The Sims anyone?) and my sister has been the best charisma coach by far. Be it going to Winnipeg Jets games, St. Patrick's Day at The Pint or taking my mom to the Luke Bryan concert, I guarantee we will have made at least five new friends by the end of the night, sometimes they're cops and sometimes they know your cousin.

Embrace your independence.
Being on my own has never been a problem, I pride myself on being able to constantly keep myself entertained, I'm really very interesting! My dad always talks about how he and I are the type that "never get bored" and I truly believe that. I sometimes start a Sunday morning content just on the couch with coffee and Netflix but then that boredom itch will creep in and I grab my journal and write, or I start on that Pinterest bracelet I have been meaning to make, sometimes I construct a whole dress, from scratch! I have always been very okay with physically being on my own. Don't get me wrong, I love surrounding myself with people but there has always been something so alluring about being alone with my thoughts. Learn to be on your own.

*My biggest claim to independence in the last year has been moving out of my parent's house. It has been incredibly scary and I still get homesick, but I'm getting the hang of it.

Smile, laugh and love. 
Cheese, cheese, cheese, but true. I let some friendships fade in the past few years and I'm not happy to admit that but when I needed them they were right there to welcome me back with open arms and I couldn't be more grateful. Obviously my family was a huge part of my happiness in the last year, I could not ask for better people to call my family. Your greatest supporters are always right behind you. You may take them for granted from time to time but the ones that matter will always be there.

So here's to the year of me, it's been great!

Bear's Den

Bear's Den

Call Me Caitlyn

Call Me Caitlyn